Family

Happy Friday! I found out yesterday my older sister is coming into town this weekend from out of state. I haven't seen her in quite some time. One thing you should know about me is that I'm the youngest of four. My brothers and sisters are all very different from me,which creates a dynamic of me being the "odd man out". Most of the time when we are all together, I feel left out and alone. That leads me to separate myself from them even more, which leaves them disconnected from me even more. Sometimes, things go better than other times. But, I struggle to not let those feelings overwhelm me so as to overshadow just enjoying time together. I really feel disconnected from my sister, the one coming into town. I think the reason I'm struggling so much right now with our relationship is because we USED to be closer than we are now. I used to feel like out of all the siblings, she and I were most alike. She could most understand and relate to me. In recent years, my sister has changed and has become someone I don't know. I used to be able to have deep, heart talks with her, but those are a thing of the past. So,when we talk, there's nothing really to talk about. It makes me sad. I'm praying that this weekend I can just LOVE my siblings and show love to my sister in a way that leaves them changed. I don't want my fleshly feelings to keep me from showing God's love to them. That's the only thing that really matters and the thing that changes us the most - LOVE. So this weekend, I will be prayerful and deliberate to be loving, kind, generous, and full of light. God,bhelp rid me of sin. I know you can't use me with sin in my life, and I want more than anything to be used by you. Your forgiveness and mercy and grace are forever there for us, and I thank you for being faithful to forgive me time and time again.