Thursday, April 7, 2011

Practice opportunity in keeping renewed perspective

After my quiet time and blog post this morning, my husband tells me we don't have enough money in our account to cover the $8700 check I mailed yesterday.  For some reason, he doesn't understand why, we are approximately $1000 short.  What to do, what to do?  We operate on a cash system only and don't have credit cards, so we proceeded to take all of our cash allotment for the month, which totalled $1000, so I could deposit the money to cover the check.  Now,we have no cash for the rest of April, and we still have bills to pay for the month.  Adam is talking about getting a loan to cover expenses we will have, but this goes against what we believe, so I don't want to have to do that.  We've never been in this position before where we literally have no money to our name and don't know how ongoing expenses are going to be covered.

I'm feeling overwhelmed, scared, doubting our decision to do IVF.  I remind myself of the peace we had to proceed with IVF.  My husband reminds me we knew we would be cutting things close financially, but I didn't know it would be this tight.  I remind myself this is a great opportunity for God to show His faithfulness and for us to rely on Him to meet every need.  I know how special this will be when we look back, hopefully after we have a baby, and know the sacrifices we made to expand our family.  I remind myself of what God laid on my heart this morning - get in fellowship with Him.  Let Him fill me with truth and love.  Let me release my burden to Him.  This is what I will attempt to do today - spending every opportunity I can in His presence to be changed. 

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