I'm thankful my fog of depression and fatigue is lifting. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how long that will last. In about a week, I get to start the fertility injections. Who knows how they will affect me. When we did IVF the first time over four years ago, I don't really remember suffering from a lot of side effects from the meds. The second time we did IVF, I remember having more side effects. Partly, I think as we got older, our bodies just respond differently. So, I'm prepared for anything this time around (I think).
More than anything, I want to live a life that matters - for Jesus! I want my lips and attitude and deeds to glorify Him. I want to "do well" under hardship - showing the world I trust Him no matter what my current struggle or circumstance looks like. So, I've been thinking...what does it look like to bear fruit and live well when you are struggling with depression or some other hardship? Partly what I've learned this past week that it's so easy to get our eyes on ourselves when we are struggling - to think about how hard things are or how bad we feel, etc. When my eyes are on me/my circumstances, they aren't on Jesus. Unless my eyes are fixed on Him, I can't live life well. Living beyond our hardships and circumstances requires our eyes and hearts to be fixed on Him! Then we can persevere and endure because we know what really matters and who controls life. I know, I know, easier said than done. I'm always reminded that we need the Holy Spirit to help us in our weakness, to do for us what we can't do in our flesh. It only requires us to submit and surrender to Him and to let Him take control of our lives.