Thursday, June 2, 2011

Another lesson in trust

I went to the doctor yesterday for my first sonogram - I am 6 weeks pregnant.  The fertility specialist monitors the pregnancy more closely through the first trimester, which is good.  Because we had three embryos implanted, this was the day to find out if we were having multiple babies.  Fortunately, we are having one baby!  We were able to hear the baby's heartbeat, and everything seemed to be good.  The doctor did see some blood buildup, which he said he thought it might be from implantation.  The hope is that the blood will just be reabsorbed into the body without growing.  But, when he shared this news with us, I was instantly concerned about whether this blood buildup would/could affect the baby.  I wanted assurances from the doctor that I didn't really get 100%, probably because he can't give those type of assurances.  Anyway, I came away from that appt with the reminder that I have so little control of so many things in life.  Ultimately I must choose to trust God with this precious life he has given me.  I must choose to trust God with my concerns and my hopes. 

Sometimes I wonder,does it make a difference at all if I pray and ask God for protection of this little life, since God has the days already numbered for all of us.  But then I'm reminded of stories in the Bible where God was moved because of prayers of His people.  So, I will continue to pray for this healthy growing life in me.  I will pray for increased faith and trust in Him.  I know that I don't want to be anywhere other than in God's care and provision.  And my baby is in  God's care and provision too.  I find comfort and hope in that. 

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