Adam and I decided awhile ago that we would pursue invetro fertilization one last time in an effort to have another child. We are starting the process of injections this month. When we made the decision to do IVF again, we knew we would be draining our savings account to pay for the cost of everything. We both agreed we wanted to move forward with an understanding that I would work some extra hours at work to help rebuild our savings as quickly as possible. The total cost is around $16,000. Adam had told me we might be a couple of thousand dollars short, but with my extra hours at work I thought we would be okay. In my mind, I thought we were going to get billed for each procedure along the way and we would have some time before payment was due.
When I opened the mail today, there was a bill from the fertility center stating we needed to pay $8800 by the end of the week for a deposit for upcoming procedures. Immediately, I panicked. I wasn't expecting to have to pay that deposit so soon and wasn't sure if we even had all of that money to pay this week. We had just paid $3000 for our medicines in addition to paying $1000 a month ago for another procedure and blood work. I called my husband at work and told him about the deposit due. He thought we might be a couple of thousand dollars short in savings. I'm still panicking, wondering if we shouldn't move forward but in my mind knowing we are too far into it to stop now. But, what are we going to do?
Then, I just prayed to God, giving Him my anxiety and worry and concerns. How are we going to come up with the money this week? Are we going to have enough money to cover everything? My husband's worse fears are not having money for what we need, and here we are in a position of losing all our savings and still being short. What are we doing? We both felt peace about moving forward, knowing we would be using all of our money for this. We both knew it would be an act of faith and trust in God providing for our needs. Now it's in God's hands to provide for our needs - for Him to fill the gap. It's easy to say we trust God and have faith in Him when everything is going fine. But, when you are really in need, do you really believe what you say you do? I DO trust God, and I do know He is faithful. I'm giving this to God to work out, and I'm trusting Him.
God, I trust you. I know you've given Adam and me a spirit of unity and agreement about doing IVF. We trust you to meet every need along the way in this process. We know our dependence on you in this process brings you glory.
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